Posts by Frazzled UBM

26

I'm In London!

by FL_Panthers in

can anyone recommended any good congregations to visit?

my hotel is in waterloo area so something close please.

anyone else here from london?.

sorry guys I will be away all next week (half term - I am off to Scotland) - if it was the week after (the week beginning 2 June) would work for me. Weekdays suit me better for family reasons - I would love to do a London meet up, Fraz

43

Do you think JWs are dangerous, if yes why? If not, why?

by suavojr in

jw
friends

personally the jws to me are not dangerous.

on the other hand, many do think they are in fact a dangerous cult.

why are they dangerous?.

Frazzled UBM

going back to your OP question - my sister-in-law would still be alive today if she had not grown up and been baptized into this cult - after she ran away from her JW husband the elders guilted her into feeling she had no choice but to return to an unhappy marriage and living arrangement and rather than do this she took her own life...

27

which other JWN members have you met ?

by bigmac in

jw
friends

as the title asks---which members on here have you actualy met ?.

ive met.

cantleave and nuggett.

Frazzled UBM

Laika cos he's also in London - anyone else in London?

67

Raising kids - JW mother, agnostic father

by Zana in

my wife and i have two wonderful children aged 1 and 3. i was raised as a lutheran but stopped believing in my late teen years.

my wife is what i would call a liberal jw (yes, i believe such people exist .

sooner or later our children will have questions about religion and the differences mom and dad show towards it.

Frazzled UBM

zana - I agree with village girl and pbrow - there is no middle road or at least if you try to follow the middle road you run a significant risk (it is not inevitable as Roberto Avon's experience shows) that your kids will become indoctrinated when you are not looking. You need to be very firm in resisting the key elements of indoctrination, such as reading the Bible Studies book and attending the KH. Do not underestimate the power of the fear based indoctrination process - it will be drip fed into your children's heads. They will be exposed to powerful fear inducing images and stories. As I said before - for as long as your wife believes Armageddon is happening soon, she will work overtime to protect her kids by indoctrinating them. She will truly believe that is what is best for them and it won't occur to her that she is exposing your kids to abusive scary images and stories. You will always be the enemy in all of this - any compromises you make will not change this - she will just see this as a sign of weakness. Also much better to start tough and relax at the edges later than to start by making compromises and then try to tighten up once you realise you have lost control. Fraz

57

Had an argument with my wife about tinkerbell :(

by BU2B in

one of my co workers mother made my 4 year old a blanket with the disney character tinkerbell on it.

as soon as i got it i knew trouble lay ahead.

i wanted to reason with her before my daughter saw it so as not to cause a disruption, but it didn't work out that way.

Frazzled UBM

yes BU2B - an update please on the Great Tinkerbell Scandal

Took my JW missus to the musical 'The Book of Mormon'

by Frazzled UBM in

she was initially reluctant and found it confronting at first (particularly the strong bad language) but then she lightened up and started laughing.

i didn't try to draw any analogies but hopefully she saw some.

i must say it is very good at showing you how screwy the mormon beliefs are but actually when you think about some fo the incredible things in the bible - the notion of a third part based in the us is not so ludicrous.

Frazzled UBM

She was initially reluctant and found it confronting at first (particularly the strong bad language) but then she lightened up and started laughing. I didn't try to draw any analogies but hopefully she saw some. I must say it is very good at showing you how screwy the Mormon beliefs are but actually when you think about some fo the incredible things in the Bible - the notion of a third part based in the US is not so ludicrous. The show was great fun - I would definitely recommend it. You Apostates will appreciate more than the general population I think.

48

Why are some of you guys calling this new arrangement tithing?

by neverendingjourney in

at the risk of being shouted down, i thought i'd point out that "tithing" means giving 10 percent of your income to a church.

it comes from the old english word teogotha meaning tenth.

i've seen nothing that establishes tithing in the watchtower.. while i'm all in favor of pointing out the watchtower's lies, hypocrisies and faults, the language we use matters.

Frazzled UBM

For any Australians out there of a certain age - we could call it the 'Claytons Tithe'. In Australia in the 1970s there was drink called Claytons which was non-alcoholic but tasted as if it was. The advertising line was: 'Claytons: the drink you have when your not having a drink.'

37

Have you noticed the common practice is to knock indivual's self esteem?

by stuckinarut2 in

in another thread, one of our members made a comment that caught my attention.. i have been trying to put my finger on a practice amongst the org and witnesses in general.... as soon as someone does something well, accomplishes something, or excels at something, the atmosphere effectiveley 'kicks them in the gut' to bring them down.. anything that makes a person grow or develop is blatently discouraged and therefore self esteem is squashed!.

the constant message telling a witness to be 'humble' is designed to suck any sense of growth or 'betterment' out of a person..... therefore this leaves the average witness to be a blubbering mess of insecurity and instability completely dependant on the organization...kind of like a 'battered-wife' scenario.... .

Frazzled UBM

jgnat - thanks for thinking about my wfie's situation - her family was not in crushing poverty - her father is a farmer who grows rice and rears livestock and has a small fishing boat to get fish. They are and were pretty self-sufficient. Her brother is a teacher and her sisters work overseas. Not much in the way of material possessions when she was growing up but not going hungry either. They need my help financially from time to time for rood repairs etc. and I am happy to provide it. No I really do think her closed off behaviour is a consequence of her JW conditioning but probably made worse by the impact on her self-esteem of being disfellowshipped for 5 years because of her relationship with me. She is very good at compartmentalising. Her fear of questioning authority is deep seated and I believe a direct result of being a Witness, perhaps more so from the JC experience. She is heavy on the 'being humble' teaching. I do as much as I can to build up her self-esteem by complimenting her often, particularly on her cooking, appreciating what she does for me and encouraging her to push her boundaries by showing I believe in her ability to do things. She is making progress but it is a struggle for her. Cheers Fraz

48

Why are some of you guys calling this new arrangement tithing?

by neverendingjourney in

at the risk of being shouted down, i thought i'd point out that "tithing" means giving 10 percent of your income to a church.

it comes from the old english word teogotha meaning tenth.

i've seen nothing that establishes tithing in the watchtower.. while i'm all in favor of pointing out the watchtower's lies, hypocrisies and faults, the language we use matters.

Frazzled UBM

Decimation literally means to reduce by one tenth but is not used that way in common parlance. I think you can still call it 'a tithing arrangement' if conceptually it is based on the same principle even if it is not the exact same percentage. I can see your point about how the pedantic WBTS may seek to distinguish this arrangement from tithing based on the percentage amount.

57

Had an argument with my wife about tinkerbell :(

by BU2B in

one of my co workers mother made my 4 year old a blanket with the disney character tinkerbell on it.

as soon as i got it i knew trouble lay ahead.

i wanted to reason with her before my daughter saw it so as not to cause a disruption, but it didn't work out that way.

Frazzled UBM

Maybe you coud lighten the mood by asking your wife this: "What do you call a smelly fairy?... Stinkerbell" You are going to have to work very hard to get your wife to lighten up otherwise she is going to destroy your daughter's childhood. The cult propaganda is so insidious. My son was so relieved when I told him Spartlock was rubbish and he should not worry about anything in that ridiculous DVD.